Don't Glomp the BeyBlade
by Mesita
Summary: Max loves Tyson. Tyson loves Kai... and Max. But Kai loves Tyson too--but perhaps Rei and Max just to be evil. Kenny loves Tyson. Rei? He loves Kai. Maybe Max on a good day. Or heck, they all just love EACH OTHER. Hilarious interpretation of the yaoi-kind


::Kitzaku-san::  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own BeyBlade, or any of these characters. Sadly enough, I own the plot.  
  
Authoress Note: I've been a BeyBlade fan since forever. (Ok, since November. Ooo, shoot me.) And I've been hanging around the FF.Net BB section and I've been a little horrified to find... what's this? No yaoi? All Mary-Sue?  
  
I did, however, manage to find some Max/Tyson's.... like, three. And a Max/Rei or two. Sometimes you'll see Kai/Tyson. But, what's up with THAT? The only yaoi pairing I see is Kai/Rei. Which, I accept, but still. I'm not a big Kai fan. OMG! Flame me, I hate Kai. I'm a Max fan, I made the first shrine to him. If you don't like it, deal.  
  
My fingers are numb. Flame me, so I can warm them. This fic has no point. It's to get rid of the Mary Sue smut and put on some real yaoi-goodness on the BeyBlade section.  
  
::Don't Glomp the BeyBlade::  
  
Max loved Tyson. There. The authoress said it right off the bat and didn't even use such fancy words as, 'his heart was fluttery and he didn't know why.' Basically because it wasn't his heart that was fluttery, it was his stomach, and he knew why. He was hungry.  
  
But pizza would have to wait. Max was on his way to Tyson's house to BeyBlade. Nothing out of the ordinary. Except, when he passed Kenny on the way there. Who, by the way, was carrying a bouquet of flowers bigger than he was. It was a rather odd site. The poor boy didn't even have Dizzi with him, his arms were so full.  
  
"Hey, Chief. Any point to those flowers?" Max blatantly asked. Kenny turned towards him and tried to smile. Of course, Max had NO clue where he was looking seeing as his glasses were in the middle of his forehead and his eyes quite frankly ceased to exist.  
  
"They're for Tyson. It's his birthday."  
  
Max made an odd sort of noise in the back of his throat. Tyson's birthday? That won't be for another few months. Someone had obviously told Kenny otherwise, and being more book smart than street smart he supposed, Kenny beleived them.  
  
So Max told him just that. Kenny looked a bit embarassed and flustered. He had been a little doubtful that Tyson's birthday was today, but apparently, his brain wasn't functioning. Which, Max thought was odd, because his brain was always functioning. Even when the rest of the BladeBreakers didn't want it to.  
  
"Who told you it was today anyway?"  
  
"Kai."  
  
"Figures." Max shrugged. "I'm running off to Takao's anyway. We'll just drop these off for the heck of it."  
  
Kenny readily agreed and suddenly did a double-take. "Did you call him Takao?"  
  
Max thought a moment and shrugged. "Cultural shift. Let's keep moving." And that's what the two of them did. They made it to Tyson's dojo where oddly loud grunts and other such related noises were coming from. They walked in to find Tyson practicing with his kendo stick again, and it looked much like he was conducting an orchestra rather than sparring with the air, which was what he was really doing in the first place.  
  
"Tyson! Kenny brought you flowers because he loves you!" Max called. Tyson immediatly stopped and looked to them.  
  
Kenny turned a bright shade of red. "Maaaax!" He set the giant bouquet down just for the sole fact that he could clench his fists and mutter something about letting out secrets.  
  
Oh, as if that was a real secret. Kenny was majorly jealous of whatever close bond Tyson and Max decided they felt like having. Tyson was already rumaging through the bouquet of flowers when he found a small package inside.  
  
"Oh, wow! A present!" He beamed and opened it to reveal some random candy beyblade. It flopped about like a rubber fish in his hand. "Thanks Chief."  
  
Kenny however, was just as surprised as Tyson was to see the gummy beyblade. "I didn't get you that, Tyson..."  
  
"But who... did?"  
  
"Hm. Don't you read cards first, Tyson?" A sinister, dark, evil, boring, monotonous etc voice came from the corner of the room. None other than Kai stepped out of the shadows.  
  
"Kai!" Max's eyes widened. "How'd you get here?" Leave it to poor Max to ask obvious questions, but like the reader would find anything out anyway if everyone just kind of sat there staring.  
  
Which they did anyay.  
  
Kai managed to break the silence by stating in his sinister, dark, evil, boring, monotonous etc voice, "Because Tyson makes me hot under the collar."  
  
"And you wanted an excuse to get it to Tyson by telling me it was his birthday!" Kenny pointed rather rudely in Kai's general direction. "And you like Rei, not Tyson!"  
  
"I can like who I want." Kai said as if he knew everyone, which he just about does. Because if one was to say he DIDN'T know anything, they'd get a quick kick in the backside courtesy of Kai. The tall beyblader walked further across the room and latched himself onto Max. "And right now, I want Max."  
  
"But--!" Max's face was scarlet. More scarlet than something that was really scarlet. Tyson's face crunched up into some random angry look and he forced Kenny to hold the gummi beyblade while he proceeded to pull Kai from Max.  
  
"You keep you hands OFF of Max!" he shouted right into Kai's face. And what happens when you're only two inches from some creepy rapists face?  
  
Why, he kisses you of course.  
  
Startled, Tyson grabbed the first thing he could for balance, which just so happened to be Kai. That didn't prove any better, because it only enticed Kai in the first place and brought him closer.  
  
Kenny and Max were both enraged by now, trying to pull Kai away from their resepected lover. It was a rather odd scene: Tyson and Kai kissing now like ravaged crazed wolverines and Kenny and Max trying blatantly to pull them apart.  
  
At least, it would have been funny if you'd actually walked in on the scene, like Rei. Though heaven only KNOWS why Rei decided to just absent- mindedly pop up at Tyson's residence when he most likely hadn't even been there before in the first place.  
  
And since he's Rei, and wanted to make an entrance, he pulled out his Driger and lauched it straight at the kising duo, breaking them apart much easier than whatever the heck Kenny and Max were trying to accomplish.  
  
You see, everyone knows Rei's in love with Kai. Just as Tyson loves Kai too. But Tyson doesn't know that anyway, he's too busy lusting after Max to care. Kenny on the other hand has no one but Dizzi, and the aspect of doing obscene things with his laptop, let alone with his FEMALE bitbeast was a little unnerving.  
  
Especially since every living organism in that room was homosexual. Including the little dustmites who quite enjoyed the soft porn and had fun accordingly.  
  
Tyson's lips were bleeding from the force of Driger's impact. Kai was surprisingly unhurt, and many fangirls would like to keep it that way. Max on the other hand, really couldn't give a damn and proceeded to kick Kai in the shin.  
  
"Takao, are you alright?" Max held Tyson as if he was going to die. Tyson's eyes were half closed and he looked as if he was in a bliss.  
  
"Wuh?"  
  
"Takao, your lips are bleeding!"  
  
"Are they? Get me some chapstick..."  
  
"Kenny I need chapstick."  
  
"I only have lipstick."  
  
"Why do you have lipstick?"  
  
"My lips get chapped."  
  
"That's what CHAPSTICK is for!"  
  
"Max, did you call me Takao?"  
  
"Cultural glitch."  
  
That's basically the conversation that went on. Only the other multicellular organisms in the room were too busy doing otherwise to even notice. Rei, being overprotective as he is, gathered Kai up into his arms. Which was rather odd because we all knows that Kai is seme anyway.  
  
And just to prove that Kai could be out of character, he exclaimed, "Oh, Rei you're so Seme! Take me!"  
  
As if he knew what seme was anyway.  
  
Sure enough, as abrubtly as a semi-dimensional fanfic wrinkle had occurred, Kai somehow managed to back into character and smote Rei accordingly. "Get your paws off me you damn dirty....tiger."  
  
Since Kai so lovingly bashed Rei. He was feeling quite vulnerable. Max was holding Kai and kissing his lips to make him feel better. So the only person who appeared not to be preoccupied was Kenny. So according to some random rulebook that doens't even exist in the first place, Rei sidled up next to Kenny and draped an arm around him.  
  
"So... Kenny. You come here often?"  
  
The orange haired kid adjusted his glasses. "Rei, could you please remove yourself from me?"  
  
For some unknown, strange reason, Kai became jealous of this and took Kenny from Rei. And no, not Rei from Kenny. "You stay away from him, kitty boy."  
  
"Purr."  
  
"Go lick Max and cough up a furball."  
  
Which is what Rei did next.  
  
Tyson, infuriated that Max was suddenly stolen from him, decided to get Rei back horrible. Thinking for the moment that Rei was still with Kai, Tyson found himself hung on Kai's arm, his index finger circling his chest.  
  
Kenny turned a bright shade of red respectively to find that Kai had his hand in his pants.  
  
Noticing this as well, Tyson figured he would get the better of Kai and shoved his hand in Kenny's pants as well. Which, brought another shade of red to come from the Chief.  
  
Max had escaped the wrath of Rei and brushed the random furballs from his overalls. Only to find Kai and Tyson literally ripping poor Kenny's pants to shreds. Deciding to put an end to it, he thrust his hand in as well--but only to get both Kai and Tyson to stop.  
  
Rei, feeling rather left out, figured he had better join the party and stuck his hand down Kenny's pants as well.  
  
With four different hands down his pants, Kenny's face went too red for his own good, his eyes rolled to the back of his hand and he promptly fainted.  
  
"Now look what you did, Takao!" Max commented.  
  
"Did you just call him Takao?" Rei wiped his hand on Kai's sleeve, who in turn wiped his hand on Rei.  
  
"Cultural glitch."  
  
They all stood there for a while. Blinking rapidly and staring around them. No one knew who liked who any longer. Did Tyson like Max? Or was he in love with Kai? And did Kai return his feelings or did he lust for Rei? But what of Max? Did Kai wish to do make simply because he's a sadistic bastard and he can DO that? Max, obviously liked Tyson. No doubts about that. He simply followed whatever the hell his feelings told him to. Rei? Did he want Kai just like everyone else did? Or was he the quiet type that would love to take long walks on beaches... with Max? And Kenny? Who really gave a damn who he liked. The authoress only figured how many question marks one could fit into one paragraph.  
  
Just for good measure. They silently agreed that they would all like Kenny, for the sole purpose of solving the problem.  
  
::End::  
  
Ending A/N: Ne, how would one end a pointless fic where eveyone's in love with each other? Or more or less, solve the problem and make them all love the one person they DON'T love. My logic is seriously screwed.  
  
My mind is screwed up too. I think the ending of this story made this PG- 13.  
  
Flames will be used to heat my extrememly cold and numb hands. Thank you. 


End file.
